On the Wagon

Music is my inspiration.  This song has always held a special place in my heart, and always makes me want to write.

I broke the promise to myself yesterday, but I knew I would.  After working 13 hours, I had plans and didn’t get home until after midnight.  So I missed a ‘day’ in my ‘everyday’ goal, but, like all humans, I knew that while I have good intentions, that everyday just wasn’t going to happen.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to fall off the wagon though.

Like Samwise Gamgee promises Gandalf, and as he tells Frodo about it:

“I made a promise, Mr. Frodo.  A promise!  ‘Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee.’ And I don’t mean to.  I don’t mean to.”

In my case, it would be more along the lines of:

“I made a promise, Megan.  A promise!  ‘You write in this blog everyday, even if you have nothing to say.’  And I mean to.  I mean to.” 

So, in lieu of that, I thought I would talk about inspiration for a moment.

Everyone gets inspired differently.  Some people can look at a picture and feel inspiration… Some people can look at a person and feel something… I more often than not, get inspiration from music.  A lyric in a song will catch my interest, and off my mind races, constructing characters and worlds, putting names to faces and thoughts with tears.  Usually I just let this inspiration pass me by, and a couple hours later something new will pop up.  It’s when something is really monumental that I sit down and let it out.  Maybe that’s the problem recently, I haven’t felt anything really monumental.

A lot of times, I write to let out emotions that I can’t express any other way.  I, like many other Sagittarius’, don’t like to express our emotions.  We prefer to experience them and move on, never really letting them out.  So, when I bottle things up for too long, they usually come out in written word.  It serves as a form of catharsis for me, and recently I haven’t written anything.  Maybe it’s why I’ve been so stressed out, I need to release some pent up emotion.

As I’m sitting here, I’m listening to the Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars.  I’ve always loved this song too.

That’s another huge factor for me when I’m writing.  Headphones on, music so loud I can feel the bass beating deep in my soul… It’s the only way to write.  The music drowns out everything else around me: the whir of the fan, the creaking of the floor boards as my neighbor moves around above me.  It’s in these moments, that lyrics that inspire me, turn into my own work.  I take a simple line, ‘I beg for the rest of my life’ and feel it speak to me.  And then it tumbles out, each letter connecting to the other in a way that, somehow, makes sense.

And when I finish, I always feel a sense of accomplishment, and a little bit of relief.  That I’ve written something else, I’m not a dried up well, but rather vibrant and thriving.  That’s what I need to find again, and that’s what I’ve started writing this blog for.  Eventually, I’ll get back to my roots and I’ll really shine.  It’s going to take a little bit of time, but I’m going to work everyday to get to where I need to be.

You made a promise, Megan.  A promise!

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